Hi, my name is Edgy the Edgelord Coldsteel Demonslayer Soul Fuck, I’m a huge Demonslayer fan (that’s how I got my name, also AN: if u don’t know what that is, get the fuck outta here), I’ve long dark auburn hair and I’m also a demon, but my skin is pale white instead of purple, I’m gottik and I attend a unievrsity called The Philadlephia Univesity, and I’m currently 20 years old, most of my clothes are either black or grey, I’m A HUGE FAN of Slipknot, Linkin Park, MRC and KMFDM, I’ve got all their merch, a lot of preps posers stared at me, I put my middle finger at them.

“Hey, Edgy!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was… Pico!

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” I said back.

But then my friends called me and I had to go away : (

AN: If you never listineeddd to Slipknut, Link Parkin, MRC ad KMFDM get the fuk out of here > : (

The next day I woke up in my bedroom, I opened the door of my coffin and drank some brood from a bottle I had, I got out of the coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt I used as pajamas. Instead, I put a black Linkin Park dress, a grey MCR jacket, black KMFDM shoes and I put black lipstick and TONS of black eyeliner and put my hair in a kind of meessy bun

My friend, Nene (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long back-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her violet-purple eyes. She put on her dark-pink vest with a white bra underneath, a hot pink dress and black pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Pico yesterday!” she said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Pico?” she asked as we went out of the main hall of the university and into the Portal.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Pico walked up to me

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied firlty

“Guess what.” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, KMFDM are having a concert in Philadelphia.” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love KMFDM. They are my favorite band, besides Linkin Park.

“Well, do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Pico was waiting there in front of P-Bot. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

“Hi Pico!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Edgy.” he said back. We walked onto P-Bot, who was colored like a black Mercedes-Benz (his arm plates said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

“You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Pico, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Pico looked sad : (

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Pico sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Pico. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Pico and I crawled back onto the Mercedes-Benz P-Bot, but Pico didn’t go back into the university, instead he drove the car into……………………… Brackenwood!

“PICO!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Pico didn’t answer but he stopped the P-Bot and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiosly.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Edgy?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Pico leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

And then…………… suddenly just as I Pico kissed me passionately. Pico climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his uzi into my obviously-not-censored-Newgrounds-sex-joke and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get all 5 stars for the epic rating. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Mr.Flacit! (Flacit was swearing becuz he had a hedache)

Mr.Flecit made and Pico and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Pico comforted me. When we went back to the universtiy Mr.Flacit took us to the universtiy presidents Alucard and da überkidins who were both looking very angry.

“They were having sexual intercourse in Brackenwood!” he yelled in a furious voice.

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked one of da überkindins.

“How dare you?” demanded Aslucad.

And then Pico shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”

Everyone was quiet. Mr.Flacit and da überkindinds still looked mad but Alucad said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

Pico and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

“Are you okay,Edgy?” Pico asked me gently.

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the girl’s dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Pico was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the cafeteria, I ate some Count Demonila cereal (AN: yes that is a brand and if u never ated it gtfo) with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have a cap anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Pico’s and there was no bit of any cyan color on his hair anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like you know da thing that boys get except not really cuz I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko lolololol XDDDD

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Boyfriend from the popular indie game Friday Night Funkin’, although most people call me BF.EXE666FromDarkness these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.

“Well, I am a demon.” I confessed. (it turnz out BF is adopted, his birt parents were emo demons rockstar who where rivals to the Dearests, eventuaolly DD killed his mom and his dad commited exit game due to how sad he was)

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Pico came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

Pico and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u? Ok maybe it is but wutever XD). I waved to 666.EXE. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Pico. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Pico. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started blamming passively and we started playing the big games on NG enthusiastically. He felt me up before I decided on Madness Roulette. Then I decided to watch Madness and we routed for Hank (AN: if u don’t know who he is gtfo > : ((((((((). We went on the bed and started playing Pico Roulette and then he put his cock joke in mine female cock joke equivalent and we HAD ADULT NG EXPERIENCE. (c is dat stupid?)

“Oh Pico, Pico!” I screamed while getting a 5 star rating when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Pico’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words…………BF!

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Pico pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably had a blam anyway!”

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Pico ran out. He had a really big rating but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in EXE.666’s classroom where he was having a lesson with Mr.Flacit and some other people.

“BF.EXE666, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Pico came into the room and started begging me to take him back.

“Edgy, it’s not what you think!” Pico screamed sadly.

My cousin B’loody GF smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic auburn hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale purple skin that she was wearing white makeup on.

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Alucard demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

“.EXE666, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Pico!” I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don’t know why Edgy was so mad at me. I had went out with BF.EXE666 (I’m bi and so is Edgy) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Cassandra, a stupid preppy gothic wannabe. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

“But I’m not going out with Pico anymore!” said BF.EXE666.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into Brackenwood where I had lost my virility to Pico and then I started to bust into tears.

I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Pico for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Pico.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible demon with red glowing eyes and purple skin and everything started flying towards me! He had purple skin (basically like Daddy Dearest in FNF) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… Daddy Dearest!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then DD started singin "Dadbattle" and I couldn’t run away.

“Xificurc!” I shouted at him. DD fell off and started to scream. I felt bad for him because he was my uncle even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“Edgy.” he yelled. “Thou must kill BF.EXE666!”

I thought about .EXE666 and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Pico had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Pico went out with .EXE666 before I went out with him and they broke up?

“No, DD!” I shouted back.

DD gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Pico!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

DD got a dude-ur-so-dumb-lmao look on his face. “I hath telekinesis and bsedis, Pico is my employee.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill .EXE666, then thou know what will happen to Pico!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily somehow.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Pico came into the woods.

“Pico!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into the university together making out.

I was really scared about Ddday Deareast all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are GF, .EXE666, Pico, Samurai Asshole (although we call him Deadgy now. He has black hair now with red streaks in it.) and Darnell. Only today Pico and .EXE666 were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Pico was probably playing Newgrounds Rumble (AN: if u dont know what dat game is gtfo again > : ((((() and .EXE666 was probably watching a depressing movie like Pico vs Convict. I put on a black leather shirt and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt.

We were singing a cover of an epic edgy song that 14 year old girls listen to so that they become emo and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

“Edggy! Are you OK?” B’loody GF asked in a concerted voice.

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Dadt Dereast came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill BF! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Pico. But if I don’t kill BF, then DD, will fucking kill Pico!” I burst into tears. Suddenly Pico jumped out from behind a wall.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser preppy bitch!” (c is dat out of character? Yes it is : ))

I started to cry and cry. Pico started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Mr.Flacit walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Edgy Pico has been found in his room. He committed offline by losing Newgrounds Rumble.”