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felipecrespito
I post random shit and used to post pixel arts (I may come back in the future tought)

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cassandra's simp

Pico's School 2

Brazil

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felipecrespito's News

Posted by felipecrespito - July 22nd, 2023


"Anytime someone calls attention to the breaking of gender roles, it ultimately undermines the concept of gender equality by implying that this is an exception and not the status quo."

Nikola Tesla, 1915


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Posted by felipecrespito - June 25th, 2023


Alright, buckle up, folks! We're about to dive into a list of the hottest FNAF characters. Get ready for a wild and controversial ride! 🔥😈🔥


  1. Foxy the Fucking Pirate Fox 🦊🔥: This badass fox is hotter than a summer day in hell! With his rugged pirate persona and that sexy eyepatch, Foxy is the ultimate heartthrob of the FNAF world. Walk the plank, ladies and gents, 'cause Foxy's about to steal your hearts!
  2. Chica the Sexy Chicken 🐔💋: Move over, Colonel Sanders, 'cause Chica's in town and she's fucking finger-lickin' good! With her plump feathers and that seductive beak, Chica brings a whole new meaning to the term "chicken nugget." Who needs KFC when you've got Chica serving up some spicy hotness?
  3. Bonnie the Bad Boy Bunny 🐰😈: Ladies, brace yourselves for Bonnie, the bad boy of the FNAF crew. With his rebellious attitude and that devilish grin, Bonnie is the epitome of fucking hotness. He'll have you hopping into his arms faster than you can say "carrot cake."
  4. Mangle the Seductive Scrap 🔩😘: Get ready to get tangled up in Mangle's fucking hotness. This provocative pile of metal will leave you twisted in desire. With those enticing wires and that sultry gaze, Mangle is the ultimate crush for those who like it kinky.
  5. Toy Chica the Naughty Chicken 🐤🔞: Ready to experience some fucking fowl play? Toy Chica is here to satisfy your wildest dreams. With her sleek design, suggestive bib, and that teasing glint in her eye, she's the epitome of animatronic seduction. Get ready for some feather-ruffling fun!
  6. Springtrap the Sinful Spring 🌼🔥: If you're into that bad boy charm mixed with a hint of decay, Springtrap will set your heart ablaze. With his tattered suit and those piercing red eyes, he's the fucking embodiment of forbidden desire. Embrace the darkness, my friends!


And there you have it folks, the 6 hottest characters in the FNAF franchise, and remember to always stay steamy, my friends! 😎🔥🔥 (Made by ChatGPT)


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2

Posted by felipecrespito - May 7th, 2023


In the early days of Newgrounds, there was a popular animator by the name of Nene. She had a reputation for creating lighthearted and humorous cartoons that were enjoyed by many. However, one day something strange happened to Nene. She became possessed by a malevolent entity known only as Convict.

At first, Nene didn't seem any different. She continued to make her usual cartoons, but there was a dark and unsettling energy to them now. Her once bright and colorful animations were now filled with blood, gore, and edgy themes. Her signature pink hair had turned a deep shade of black, and her once cheerful personality had been replaced by a cold and sinister demeanor.

As time went on, Nene's animations became more and more disturbing. They were filled with violent imagery, profanity, and a sense of dread that made viewers uncomfortable. Some even claimed that watching her cartoons made them feel physically ill.

But it wasn't just her animations that had changed. Nene's behavior had become erratic and unpredictable. She would lash out at her fans, leaving cruel comments on their posts and even blocking them from her page. Some even claimed to have received threatening messages from her.

Rumors began to circulate that Nene wasn't really in control of her own body, that she had become a vessel for Convict to carry out its twisted desires. Some claimed to have seen flashes of red in her eyes, a sign that the entity was still present within her.

Despite the rumors, many of Nene's fans remained loyal to her, convinced that she was still the same person deep down. But as time went on, it became harder and harder to deny the truth. Nene had become something else entirely, something dark and dangerous.

No one knows what became of Nene in the end. Some say that she disappeared from the internet completely, while others claim that she still lurks in the shadows, waiting to strike at unsuspecting victims. One thing is for sure, though: the Nene that we all knew and loved is gone, replaced by something far more sinister. > : )


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Posted by felipecrespito - April 12th, 2023


Hi everyone! Here's another iceberg! (made by request of my bestie @PrincessElis, go check her art if you haven't already) This time about the character Samurai Asshole from the flash game of the same name, I hope you guys like it!


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Posted by felipecrespito - March 24th, 2023


A Bangladeshi 20 year old student, was arrested after watching PORN. Stripping NAKED. And, attacking an ATTENDANT during a flight. In March 2018, Shortly after the Malindo Air Flight departed from Kuala Lumpur, The 20 year old, Started watching PORNOGRAPHY, on his laptop. As nobody seemed to notice or call him OUT for it, The MAN, began taking his clothes off. At the request of the cabin crew, The student put his clothes back on. But soon, He tried to HUG female flight attendants. When the crew members rejected him, He reportedly became AGGRESSIVE, and groped a flight attendant. With the help of some of the passengers, The Cabin Crew managed to subdue the man. and tie his hands with a piece of CLOTH for the rest of the FLIGHT. One of the passengers captured the moment with his phone. Although airline officials refused to confirm details of the incident. The photo of the man with his bottom sticking out of his PANTS, and hands tied up, emerged online. The disruptive passenger was ARRESTED ON ARRIVAL.


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Posted by felipecrespito - October 8th, 2022


I can't sleep for years, it's a fact - I'm basically fuming because I can't remember the last time I could sleep so well and peacefully.


I started when I was fifteen, with years of late - night crashes, burning in the eyes and the sore throat the next day.


Then I started moving around more, all the good sleep was taken up by some of us.


I remember the last time I had a good night's sleep was when I was about eleven.


I woke up one morning at 7: 00 A. M., feeling energized.


My parents were complaining that I didn't wake them up as usual, but there was nothing strange in their words.


I had slept through the night for the first time.


It felt fantastic.


At least, it felt fantastic until I found out that the last time I'd slept like a baby was when I was six years old.


I'd been suffering from insomnia for three years, with attacks lasting for months and lasting for weeks.


Now, no matter how hard I tried to fall asleep, it never happened.


Something was keeping me from it.


I went to sleep with an idea of writing down all the things that were keeping me awake, but the only thing that came out was a long mess of words.


The more I tried to make sense of it, the more I found it difficult to sleep. :( ;_; 😭😭😭😢😢😢


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Posted by felipecrespito - August 31st, 2022


Here's a Pico Iceberg I made, saw another ppl doing it so I decided to do my own, I hope you guys like it (btw sorry if some entries are misplaced, it's the first time I do a iceberg)


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7

Posted by felipecrespito - August 9th, 2022


Pico.swf


I'm a Newgrounds maniac.

I can't help it. I've been playing these flash games for as long as I can remember. I downloaded all sorts of Newgrounds .swfs, everything from classic Newgrounds Rumble to Newgrounds: Rushdown Rivals. I've got complete .swfs of forty games and movies for every series of Newgrounds, plus two Tank Awards that I ordered off of eBay for $9999.98 each. My basement is occupied with tables and shelves adorned with figurines and stickers sets to the point where it's impossible to walk around without bumping into something. I became a Newgrounds supporter back in 2004 and, after that, I pretty much just spent my money on that, since I’m unemployed and have nothing better to do with my life . I've still got every Newgrounds T-shirt from the 90s and 2000s even though none of them fit me now, including one AWESOME Alien Hominid shirt that I got for only $5.99. My wallet is so thin since crack is cheaper, but I'm always the first to check to see if the FNF Dev team has released the .flas of the new Friday Night Funkin’ update. Some may say that, at the ripe age of 32, my life is a wreck... but that's the life of a Newgrounds Maniac.

But let's talk about the Newgrounds iconic videogames. When Pico’s School first came out in 1999, my mind was blown. It was totally awesome, dude (and it was the 90s, which meant you could say "totally awesome, dude" in public without people staring at you)! Ever since then, I've played every single Newgrounds game, plus any rereleases. This even includes titles like the Pico Sim Date trilogy, which are total garbage but I still play them anyway because they're Newgrounds games. And, even though Newgrounds' latest title Newgrounds Rumble 2 is just an alternate version of Newgrounds Rumble without any of the novelty or fun of the first game that they've released years before this garbage, I still love it because I'm that much of a Newgrounds Maniac. But, sadly, there is one Newgrounds game that I thought that I would never be able to enjoy again... Pico 2.

That is, until one fateful day this past winter. I was playing Newgrounds Rumble 2 on the PC, checking out a cool cheat code that unlocks Deimos and wondering why he simply wasn't available from the start because clearly everyone would want to play as him so it is a mystery why you can't play as him unless you know a cheat code. It was about 1:53 in the afternoon when I heard my grandmother screaming at me, "FELIPE! THE MAILMAN ARRIVED TWO HOURS AGO! STOP PLAYING THAT GAME AND MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL, YOUNG MAN!"

"Fine, Grandma!" I yelled back at her. Annoyed, I paused the game and went outside to collect the mail.

As I brought it inside the house and put it down on the kitchen table, I was expecting to find another unemployment check. Instead, much to my surprise, I found a CD case and a note. Even though it was written very messily as though its writer was in a hurry, I immediately recognized the handwriting on the note as belonging to my old friend and former fellow Newgrounds maniac, Elis.

 

Felipe,

I've had enough of this. I can't handle it anymore. It's too much for me. I had to get rid of this somehow, but instead of destroying it myself or just selling it on eBay, I thought giving it to you was a much better option. Please don't make me regret this decision by doing something stupid that would end up being written about in some lame overly-clichéd creepypasta.

Please, Felipe, you have to destroy this disc because I cannot for some poorly-explained reasons. It's the only way. Do NOT play it. Please, for the love of all that is holy, whatever you do, do NOT play it. I trust you as a friend, Felipe. Please don't make me feel that my trust has been misplaced by going against what I am telling you.

Do NOT play it. Do NOT even think about playing it. Do NOT even think about not playing it. You cannot let yourself be tempted, even though it is the only fully-functional .swf of Pico 2 that still wor-

Oh, wow! A fully-functional .swf of Pico 2 that still works! Everything else didn't matter as soon as I read those words. Finally, I was about to play Pico 2 again! It was a Newgrounds maniac's dream come true!

With that, I tossed aside the note and looked at the CD. It was blank and plain on appearance, though the words "Pico.swf" were scrawled on it with permanent black marker. I immediately recalled that Pico was the name of the Newgrounds mascot until 2006, and that only reminded me of how excited I was to play this game.

I rushed back to my computer and immediately exited out of Newgrounds Rumble 2, and in my haste I even forgot to save. Not that it mattered, anyway. I closed Newgrounds Rumble 2 and threw in the CD for "Pico.swf" so quickly that I nearly shattered it to pieces in my excitement.

This opened the .swf for Pico 2, and it started downloading some new files before saying it was ready to play. I launched the game, and it brought me to the main menu. Everything was just as I remembered it. The music by FDA... the funny little animations of Darnell and Nene in the background... and, of course, Pico himself, standing cheerily next to the “Start!” button to welcome me back to this chaotic and yet friendly universe.

I typed in my Negrounds.com username and password (the game requires it so my medals can be saved) and clicked the blue arrow to continue. The "Loading" message popped up... and then, for approximately 0.51 seconds, the game flashed something very different. Something that I'm somehow able to remember perfectly in the instant it appeared.

The Newgrounds logo no longer looked polished but now rusted. The white, shiny stars had vanished, and the dark sky had turned red. The planet Earth that was below the characters turned gray and looked like it had been destroyed, looking more like a barren wasteland. Darnell and Nene looked now depressed rather than happy and there were what appeared to be two pairs of penilian eyes staring with malicious intent and them. Down on the bottom of the screen, where it normally says "Copyright 2002, Newgrounds", the year was replaced with 666. And there was BLOOD. Hyper-realistic BLOOD. BLOOD on the logo, BLOOD on the sky, BLOOD on Darnell and Nene, BLOOD on the Earth, BLOOD dripping from the Penilian eyes, BLOOD on the BLOOD... BLOOD!

But worst of all was Pico. He looked fairly normal, staring at me with a perpetual grin, but there was something horribly wrong about his normally-comforting grin... and there was BLOOD dripping from his empty black eyes.

But, as I said, this only approximately 0.51 seconds, so it didn't bother me. I just thought I imagined it. My therapist often tells me that I imagine things. He just doesn't understand... that my imagination is an ENDLESS HANDBAG…

After that, it stayed on the "Loading" screen for about 10.3 seconds before moving on to the character select screen. To my surprise, none of the four characters displayed were characters playable in Pico 2 (or maybe I just don’t remember it). Instead, they were NPCs from the game... but not just any NPCs. They were Darnell, Nene, Otis, and to my surprise Cassandra! Now, I was sure that something was wacky, I mean, why in a game called PICO 2, you’re able to play as Darnell, Nene, Otis and even Cassandra, but not PICO himself? But anyways, I just ignored it, maybe you unlock Pico with a cheat code, much like Deimos in Newgrounds Rumble 2.

In my excitement, I did not notice right away a few things that seemed wrong. In the background, there are normally a bunch of blue skyscrapers. Here, they were red-tinted instead and appeared to be destroyed. There was probably some BLOOD, too. The background music sounded like it was 50% slower and in reverse for some reason, and I could swear that some parts of the reversed song almost sounded like the ticking of a clock, but I was sure that this wasn't symbolic of anything. It sounded like something out of a crappy- I mean… CREEPYpasta!

I wasn't worried. So what if there were a few graphical and AUDITORy glitches? (get it? Auditor, Madness Combat? ; )) I was going to play Pico 2 again, and I was going to play as Darnell and the other characters! (Except Pico, but I never liked him anyways) Without hesitation, I selected Darnell and pressed the blue arrow to continue... or rather, I would have pressed the blue arrow, but for some reason it was red. And when I clicked it, I could have sworn that I heard high-pitched laughter in the background, sounding almost like an echoing version of Pico's rapping.

The screen went black for a loose estimate of 9.896 seconds. Then, the loading screen popped up and said that my destination was the School. Now this was the first time I thought something was odd. Was Darnell’s savefile really only on the tutorial level of the game? I also noticed that the School artwork depicted the location looking even more wrecked than I remembered it. I just assumed that this was one of those new files that it downloaded; probably some cool hyper-realistic graphics update that was never released thanks to Pico 2's cancellation.

When Darnell spawned on the School, the first thing I noticed was that the School interior was also considerably more wrecked than I remembered it, with entire pieces of the hallway chewed up into pieces. The nearby lockers were cracked open, but the kids outside remained lifeless. At first, P-Bot was nowhere to be seen, but then I found his body smashed into pieces in a pool of BLOOD. There were more suspicious pools of BLOOD coating the entire location. I wasn't sure what the music was, but like before, it sounded like it was played in reverse at 50% speed and for some reason, it looked like a Ace Attorney music. Was this Danganronpa or something?!

I made my way to the Teacher’s Lounge, where Pico was waiting for me. Like before, his face was locked in a perpetual grin with BLOOD dripping from his eyes. He popped one arm out of its socket to wave it at me, which I remembered being a cute little animation in the vein of Pico’s School. But now, when Pico popped his arm out, a fountain of BLOOD erupted from his open socket in a manner reminiscent of the Black Knight from Monty Python. Does anyone else remember that movie?

The game indicated that Pico had a quest for me. I interacted with him to accept the quest. His dialogue was simply, "HEY KID. DO YOU WANT TO USE YOUR ENDLESS HANDBAG KNOW AS YOUR IMAGINATION?" I didn't remember this dialogue from the game, but I shrugged it off. Why should I be afraid? It was only a videogame. My cousins Tom and the protagonist from Blood Whistle told me that I should act as stupid as possible, so… whynaut?

The quest was to collect six weed packs from around the nearby lockers, just like I remembered it. Despite the horribly wrecked status of the school, the lockers were still functional, and I was able to grab five of the weeds with ease.

However, upon grabbing the sixth weed, Pico’s face started flashing on the screen. The game started lagging horribly as the framerate took a nosedive. This caused me to miss a jump and Darnell promptly fell into the depths of Hell, where Convict proceeded to steal all the weed and get high with Darnell so much until Darnell died of wed overdose. Don’t do drugs, kids. Also Convict eyes were just like Pico’s, his eyes were pitch-black and were bleeding.

I was seething. "That's cheap!" I yelled at the computer. "I died because of weed overdose!"

The "Fuck!" screen appeared, but it was different. Instead of Pico, it depicted Darnell, with gratuitous amounts of BLOOD pouring out of his mutilated body. The word "Fuck!" was replaced with "Dead!"

But worst of all, the "Continue" option alongside the other options was not available. This especially irritated me because I thought that the game was glitched and I would have to restart in order to close the screen, which I already had to do enough times in beta testing and wasn't particularly eager to relive those memories.

Fortunately, after about 7.4259 seconds, the screen cut to black with Pico’s rapping echoing in the background. Then, approximately 10.2651 seconds later, the game returned to the character select screen.

Darnell’s sprites were desaturated of color. He no longer had his usual cocky expression but now looked depressed and he was now using a black and gray shirt instead of his iconic purple and yellow one. He became GOTHIC!!!!! There was BLOOD dripping from his eyes, just like Pico. But most importantly, he could not be selected as a player character. I tried for several minutes or maaaaaybe a millisecond but failed.

So, I decided to try another character: Nene. Again, as I clicked the red arrow to continue, Pico’s rapping was heard as the screen cut to black for a rough estimate of 9.953726 seconds. When the loading screen popped up, this time my destination was the Japanese Garden. That reminds me, Samurai Asshole 2 was like the BEST game of all time, but who tf cares amirite?

Nene spawned near the wrecked garden. Dark and sinister music was playing, once again in reverse and played at 50% speed and it reminded me of the Japanese Garden music from Newgrounds Rumble. The Japanese Garden was not as I remembered it. The trees were bare and dead, and the grass was burned away to reveal scorched earth beneath. There were no buildings, and the ground was littered with skeletons wearing pink and white dresses lying in pools of BLOOD.

I went to find Cassette Girl, expecting that she would give me a quest to find Girlfriend. Instead, Cassette Girl was covered in bandages. Or rather, more bandages than usual. She was wrapped in bandages from head to toe like Hank. The bandages also looked like they were stained with BLOOD.

Cassette Girl did not offer a quest, but a dialogue bubble appeared over her head saying, "Mmph! Mmph mmph mmph!" (which translated to “STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING MEMES! I was in a server, right? and ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just among us stuff. I-I showed my champion underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the underwear is sus HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING" I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "THAT'S A BIT SUSSY" I looked at my penis I think of an astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUS" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG”) I guess being covered with bandages like Hank would do that to you.

I ran to Samurai’s house, expecting to find Girlfriend. Instead, I found Pico again, grinning with BLOOD dripping out of his eyes as was now becoming the norm. He had a quest, accompanied by the dialogue, "CALLING FOR HELP FROM SAMURAI? HE WON'T HELP YOU. WHAT A... PARADOX, ISN'T IT?" This made no sense, so I just ignored it because I come from a family of stupid creepypasta protagonists that don’t bother to turn off the fucking game like a normal human being.

The quest was to build a Temple to resurrect Samurai Asshole. I found one of the quick builds fairly quickly and assembled it. The Temple made an unusual sound that sounded like an 8-bit version of Pico's rapping. Moments later, I heard the familiar sound of Samurai Asshole’s katana zooming overhead. However, instead of aiming for the nearby Überkids and Demons, Samurai Assshole cutted Nene instead! She screamed as she was consumed in the BLOOD, and when she died, there was nothing but a pool of BLOOD where she once stood. Pico's face flashed on-screen for nearly 0.31415926 seconds when this happened.

"Oh, come on!" I grumbled. "Do you really expect me to buy that?"

The "Fuck!" screen appeared, looking just as it did before with "Dead!" text and lots of BLOOD. However, this time, it was Nene depicted in the pop-up instead of Darnell. Just as before, there was no option to "Continue", and I had to wait roughly 6.73859372 seconds before the screen cut to black with Pico’s rapping echoing in the background.

About 10.29485715 seconds later, I was back at the character select screen. Like Darnell, Nene’s sprites was desaturated, depressed, she was wearing a black and gray dress instead of her iconic pink and white one and she was crying BLOOD. She wasn't playable anymore, either, so I moved on to the next character: Otis.

I clicked on the red arrow to continue, Pico rapped, and the screen cut to black for nearly 10.04867397 seconds. The loading screen indicated that I was going back to the School. This time, Otis spawned in the female bathroom. The background music sounded like it might have been calm and relaxing if it was played normally, but instead sounded ominous and foreboding due to being slowed down and played in reverse like the other songs. Most of the kids were dismembered and lying in pools of BLOOD, which caked the ground and walls of the bathroom. Fuckin idiot couldn’t even go to the right bathroom.

Deciding that I didn't want to remain in the female bathroom, I made my way for the door to the Teacher’s Lounge. However, the door required a key to open it indicated that I needed Hanzou’s night vision goggles in order to open it. Seeing as Hanzou was lying decapitated in a pool of BLOOD and that his goggles were broken and probably don’t function anymore, I guessed that I was stuck in the female bathroom for now. If it weren’t for this fuckin idiot, that probably wouldn’t have happened.

Turning around, I noticed that Pico, BLOOD and all, was standing in Alucard’s place. Once again, he had a quest for me. I was getting rather tired of this pattern, but since I had nothing better to do, I grudgingly accepted. His quest dialogue was simply, "YOU CANNOT ROULETTE FOREVER, YOU KNOW."

The quest was to survive 666 rounds in the Rock-Paper-Scissors Roulette challenge. This sounded like no real challenge to me, who previously held the Newgrounds record for surviving 783525 rounds with nothing more than a few boxes of Newgrounds pizza, a carton of chocolate milk with Pico stickers in it, and an adult diaper.

I started the Roulette challenge, and Otis spawned in the chair. However, upon initiation, Pico's face flashed on-screen for about 0.93786935938 seconds, and then suddenly Otis was instantly overwhelmed by an impossibly-huge überkid that killed him with the gun that was on the table in the blink of an eye. The überkid also had black eyes with BLOOD dripping from them, just like Pico. Game Theory, explain this plz!1!!1!!!!!1!1

"Hey, no fair!" I screamed and punched at the computer screen. "That's clearly hacking!"

The altered "Fuck!" screen popped up again, this time starring Otis, and was really starting to lose its novelty and become more of an annoyance than anything. The screen cut to black with Pico’s rap echoing in the background, which was seriously starting to grate on my nerves. I mean he was literally t-bagging on me at this point > : (

"FELIPE!" I heard my grandmother yell from the other room. "TAKE A BREAK FROM THAT GAME, YOU HAVE CLASS TOMORROW!"

"OH, COME ON, GRANDMA!" I shouted back. "I'M 32 YEARS OLD! I DON'T NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL!”

"YOUNG MAN," she scolded, "SO LONG AS YOU KEPT REPEATING, YOU STILL NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL, AND TOMORROW HAVE CLASSES!"

Knowing it wasn't worth arguing since I always lose arguments against my grandmother anyways, I grumbled to myself. I shut down Pico.swf, got up from my computer, walked two feet to the couch, and lay down upon it.

I stood in the void. Freezing cold and pitch-black. At first, there was deafening silence, but then I heard voices crying out in terror. I turned and was startled to see Darnell, Nene, and Otis standing before me. They were all drained of color, save for the bright red BLOOD gushing from their empty black eyes. They reached out for me, wailing in pain and agony. I was powerless to help them.

And then, I heard an all-too-familiar rap. I turned around slowly to see Pico. He grinned sadistically, his empty eyes boring into my soul as hyper-realistic BLOOD streamed down his face. He spoke with a voice that sounded like the grinding of bone: "DON'T YOU SEE HOW MUCH FUN IT IS TO USE YOUR ENDLESS HANDBAG KNOW AS YOUR IMAGINATION?"

I was too terrified to reply. I couldn't even run.

"YES, FELIPE... YOU ARE AT MY MERCY NOW. IT WON'T BE LONG NOW BEFORE... WAIT, WHAT?"

I noticed that Pico was confused about something, so I turned around and, much to my surprise, saw Tom Fulp and PhantomArcade. Fulp raised his hands in a defensive manner. "Don't mind us," he insisted. "We're not really here. I promise we're not trying to get freaky on a friday night or anything like that. We're just ordinary projections of your subconscious. Just carry on and pretend we don't exist because we’re literally fighting fucking fictional characters."

"EXCUSE ME," growled Pico, "I'M TRYING TO BE SUPER CREEPY RIGHT NOW. YOU GUYS ARE RUINING THE SPOOKY MONTH ATMOSPHERE!" He then proceeded to do the Spooky Dance (™).

But it was too late. I realized that Pico had no power over me. It was all just a dream. And when you know you're dreaming... you can take the dream in any direction you want.

With a sly chuckle, I snapped my fingers, and Pico turned into a bag of french fries. I then took off in flight like Superman and went on all sorts of zany psychedelic dream adventures full of sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and shapeshifting aliens; an elderly underworld ruler who believed in literal blind justice; a cult of people who were accidentally worshiping these shapeshifting aliens; a ghost version of the goth punks arguing over whose of the Pico trio they would haunt first; some mischievous überkids who were backing up the Newgrounds servers; and a Newgrounds Store that had every single Newgrounds shirt and stickers, including those that don't even exist (Lost Media real?!?!?!!1!!!), but always smelled musty for some reason. Everything was fucking awesome.

And off in some corner of the dreamscape, a lonely bag of french fries screamed, "CURSE YOU, TOM FULP!"

I woke up from my nap several hours later. "Wow," I thought aloud, "that was pointless." Then, like nothing ever happened, I got off the couch, returned to the computer, and continued playing Pico.swf.

Just like he appeared in my dream, Otis was depressed, desaturated, using black and grey clothes instead of his iconic blue and blue one and crying BLOOD. He was no longer playable either. I could tell that there was a predictable pattern forming, but since I was bored and had nothing better to do, I decided to select the final playable character: Cassandra. As I expected, clicking the red arrow caused Pico to rap and the screen to cut to black for about 9.79035834961 seconds. The destination this time was The Penilian UFO.

Cassandra spawned at the center of the UFO. The ship appeared to be on the verge of collapse and did not look very well-maintained compared to its normal appearance. It was also covered with dead penilians and BLOOD. Alien Hominid was horribly maimed and lying in a pool of BLOOD, but by this point I was so used to seeing this sort of imagery that I was completely desensitized because I wasn’t a pussy like Tom or the Blood Whistle protagonist. The background music was played at 50% speed and in reverse, and just like in Darnell’s level, it was a Ace Attorney music, which by now was nothing new, but it really made me feel like I was playing a Danganronpa game. Essentially, anything that might have been mildly unnerving in the first five minutes was now just boring and rehashed formula.

As I expected, it was Pico who stood where Damien normally would stand, offering a quest. This time, although Pico was still grinning and still had BLOOD dripping from his eyes, his demeanor seemed a little angrier than before. I guess he wanted revenge for being turned into a bag of french fries in my dream. When I interacted with him, his quest text simply said, "YOU CANNOT BLAM ME."

The quest was to go to the control panel of the UFO and activate the laser beam. Based on his dialogue, I half-expected that he would try to blam me, but even after accepting the quest, Pico just stood idly in place, so I left him behind at the center of the UFO.

From experience, I knew that the red path is the fastest, so I took that. Unfortunately, the game started lagging, causing me to fall through the elevator and get high with Convict several times, which was really annoying but at least it didn't lead to an instant kill like it did for Darnell. On my fourth try, I managed to ride the elevator without falling through and used a key to open the control panel door.

At first, the control panel was unoccupied, and I thought I might actually complete this quest for once. But less than 0.4938673957123 seconds before I reached the control panel, Pico's face flashed on-screen again, and in that instant he teleported to the control panel. Cassandra was too slow and was blammed. As a consequence for her failure, Cassandra was blammed, and her limbs fell to the floor in a pool of blood.

I was perplexed. "Uh... really? Cassandra dies because she got blammed? That... has to be the lamest, unrealistic and cheapest death so far. Why couldn’t Pico just blow off her pingas?"

The altered "Fuck!" screen with BLOOD appeared, as expected. Cassandra was the unfortunate subject depicted, as expected. The screen cut to black, as expected.

"Okay, can we get just get this over with?" I grumbled, tired of the pattern by this point. Were there no more surprises? Just rehashing the same shitty and lazy tricks over and over? I remember Tom telling me about this before a bloody sanic plushie killed him in cold blood.

Then, after a loose estimate of 15 seconds and some miliseconds (I’m great at counting), the screen changed to a most unpleasant image…

The image showed a hyper-realistic version of Pico standing in the void of the Portal. It was so hyper-realistic, you could make out every wrinkle on his skin and every crease and fold on his green shirt. On the proportions of a Newgrounds character, this hyper-realism fell straight into the territory of uncanny valley… like Mr. Incredible. Maybe this was the reincarnation of the meme.

And his face…

His wide, empty, pitch-black hyper-realistic eyes, with hyper-realistic BLOOD gushing from them, were staring right at me, right through the fourth wall of the game. He grinned like a hyper-realistic psychotic murderer, with the edges of his hyper-realistic lips stretching past his hyper-realistic skull and revealing crooked hyper-realistic teeth resting in a hyper-realistic void of black emptiness, and his hyper-realistic teeth were freshly caked with hyper-realistic BLOOD.

I could do nothing but stare at this gruesome image for approximately 30 seconds and a shitload of milliseconds (again, I’m great at math, not to brag or anything, but I can’t get out of school : (((((). Then, as Pico’s rap echoed in the background, horrible and demonic, text appeared super-imposed on this image…

"I AM PICO."

I was too shocked to speak and simply stared at this message in horror. Just like my cousin Tom told me to do so in case I end up being the main protagonist of a shitty creepypasta.

Only now did I realize... what a complete and utter waste of time this was. I WASN’T a pussy like my cousins were before the creepypasta purge killed them.

And as soon as I found my voice, I made sure Pico knew it. "Really? Really? YOU ARE PICO? Gee, I would have never have guessed! Thanks, Captain John Obvious Jr., you saved the day! What was the point of this? I just wasted all this time and sat through all that BLOOD just so Pico or this crappy entity who’s taking his form could go on a quest of self-discovery? Maybe you should've said 'I AM BLOOD' instead; now that would have made more sense given this game's obsession with BLOOD! Man, this was stupid! What was I thinking? What a load of Blams! That's it, I've had it! I'm going to smash this CD into pieces so that you can change this message to 'I AM DEAD' and that won't be a big surprise either! That’ll show Tom and my other stupid fucking cousin! I’m NOT a pussy!"

I was kicked back to the character select screen by the time I was finished ranting, though I could have sworn that Pico’s expression turned rather disgruntled just before the screen change. Cassandra now joined the other characters in being desaturated, using black and gray clothing and crying BLOOD, but I thought that, this time, they looked more mildly annoyed rather than depressed, as though they too were incredulous of the utter stupidity of this game.

Then, it turned out that I didn't need to shut the game off myself, because my computer spontaneously shut off on its own. I couldn't turn it back on, so I started muttering curses under my breath because now I'm pretty sure that this game was so bad that it broke my computer. THAT’S how shit it was. I want my money back!11!1!1!!11

I turned around and pulled out my cell phone to call the local computer repair shop. Then, I heard a voice right behind me, barely louder than a whisper…

"EVERYTHING, BY EVERYONE..."

I turned around again to see where the voice came from, and what I saw... sitting on my computer desk... staring right at me... was a Pico plush, smiling with BLOOD under its eyes. And he was also accompanied by a Cassandra and Convict plush in the same state as the Pico plush… who were doing with a plush version of my mom!!11!!!111!!!111

I'm just imagining how much money I could make by auctioning it off of eBay. I mean the protagonist of NES Godzilla did it, so… whynaut?

 

The End!!!!11!111!!1!


Tags:

4

Posted by felipecrespito - July 24th, 2022


“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! B’loody GF tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Mr. Flacit chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause I mean how the fuck did I get all the way from school to my room lmao.

 

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a toaster (AN: all toasters toast toast) and almost threw it into the bath to toaster bath. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Alubard was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And an überkidd was masticating to it! They were also smoking pot just because.

 

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU HIGH OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly .EXE666 ran in.

 

“Bop beep bo skdoo bep!” he yelled at Alucard and the überkidd pointing his macaroni. I took my gun and shot Alucard and the überkiv a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Mr. Fuckshit ran in. “Edgy, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Alucard and the überkidd and then suddenly…

 

Darnell ran outside and said everyone we need to talk.

 

“What do you know, Darnell You’re just a little university student!”

“I MAY BE A UBIVERSITY STUDENT….” Daranell paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

 

“This cannot be.” Alucarb said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Mr. Fucksit’s gun had shot him. “There must be other factors.”

 

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

 

The überkidd held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

 

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

 

“Why are you doing this?” the überkidd said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

 

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

 

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Darnell said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his microphone in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

 

“Because you’re goffic?” Alucar asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

 

“Because I LOVE HER!”

 

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Prico had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

 

“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS DARInell but it was .EXE666. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY HAIR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

 

I stopped. “How did u know?”

 

“I saw it! And my hair color turned back into cyan!”

 

“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have cyan hair anymore!” I shouted.

 

“I do but Deadgy changed it into black for me and I always cover it up with dye.” he said back. “Anyway my hair hurt and it turned back into cyan! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Pico…………….Dadgy Dearest has him bondage!” (AN: ;))

 

Anyway I was in the school nurse’s office now recovering from my slit wrists. Alucar and the überkidds and DARHNELL were there too. They were going to Deterntion after they recovered cause they were perves and you can’t have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Mr. Flacit had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

 

Anyway Darnell came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

 

“Egdy I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

 

“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up preps like you.” I snapped. Darnell had been mean to me before for being gottik.

 

“No Egdy.” Darnell says. “Those are not roses.”

 

“What, are they goffs too you poser prep?” I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

 

“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Alucar and the überkidds.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong….. yes it is : DDDDDD) to it he added silently.

 

“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.

 

He pointed his hand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY! .

 

“That’s not a spell that’s an MCR song.” I corrected him wisely.

 

“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!”

 

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn’t a prep.

 

“OK I believe you now wtf is Piko?”

 

Dairnell rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

 

“U c, Egddy,” Mr. Fuckshit said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”

 

“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!” Darnell yelled. mR. FUCKshit lookd shockd. I guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back. (Dranell is yelling becuz he was havin a magrianeis crises)

 

Dairnell stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, mr flacitt!”

 

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Lila from Spooky Month (if u don’t know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

 

“You look kawai, girl.” B’loody GF said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Alucar and the überkidds couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some classes. .EXE666 was in the Apples and Bananas Class. He looked all depressed because Pico had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Pico. He was sucking some blood from Foamy the Squirrel.

 

“Hi.” he said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.

 

We both looked at each other for some time. BF had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Picos. Then……… we jumped on each other and started rapping each other.

 

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Picos teacher who was watching us and so was everyone else.

 

“.EXE666 you fucker!” I said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Pico!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

 

Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY HAIR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

 

“NO!” I ran up closer.

 

“I thought you didn’t have cyan hair anymore!” I shouted.

 

“I do but Deadgy changed it into black hair for me and I always cover it up with dye.” he said back. “Anyway my hair hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Pico…………….Daffy Dearest has him bondage!” (AN: ; )))))))

 

.EXE666 and I ran up the stairs looking for Mr. Flacit. We were so scared.

 

“Mr. Flacit Mr. Fucksit!” we both yelled. Mr. Flacit came there.

 

“What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” he asked angrily.

 

“Dasdy Dearest has Pico!” we shouted at the same time.

 

He laughed in an evil voice.

 

“No! Don’t! We need to save Pico!” we begged.

 

“No.” he said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Daddy Dearest does to Pico. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebgy.” he said while he frowned looking at me. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway.” then he walked away. .EXE666 started crying. 

 

“My Pico!” he moaned. (AN: don’t u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)

 

“Its okay!” I tried to tell him but that didn’t stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” he exclaimed.

 

“What?” I asked him.

 

“You’ll see.” he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then…… suddenly we were in Daddy Dearpst’s lair!

 

We ran in with our guns out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Bopeedo!” It was……………………………….. Daddy Dearest!

 

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

 

We ran to where Daddy Dearect was. It turned out that DD wasn’t there. Instead the fat bear who had a gun was. Pico was there crying tears of blood. Beary was torturing him. .EXE666 and I ran in front of Beary.

 

“Rid my sight you despicable preps!” he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. “EdgyIloveyouwilu5starrateme.” he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

 

“Huh?” I asked. ”Egdy I love you will you 5 star rate me?” asked Beary. I started laughing crudely. “What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to rate you highly? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

 

“Nooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

 

“Beary what art thou doing?” called Daddy Dearest. Then…… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on P-Bot and we flew to the university. We went to my room. .EXE666 went away. There I started crying.

 

“What’s wrong honey?” asked Pico taking out Pico’s School so we could speedrun it. He had a M-rating (geddit cuz hes so edgie) and really huge stars and everything.

 

“Its so unfair!” I yielded. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B’loody GF, because she’s not ugly or anything.”

 

“Why would you wanna be ugly? I don’t like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts.” answered Pico.

 

“Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Alucard and an überkidd took a video of me naked. Darnell says he’s in love with me. .EXE666 likes me and now even Beary is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Pico! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory egdy isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) “Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away.


“Edgy Edgy!” shouted Pico sadly. “No, please, come back!”

 

But I was too mad.

 

“Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with .EXE666!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Pico and .EXE666. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

 

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Pico!

 

“Egdy I love you!” he shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then……………. he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

 

“OMFG.” I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Pico’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. An überkidd shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in the Week 1 stage right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.

 

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet! Raven wtf u bich!

 

We ran happily to the Week 1 stage. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing “Blammed”’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Pico thought so, but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Pico was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. Consict and Piconj00!

 

“Wtf Pico im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them”

 

“What cause we…you know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what.

 

“Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice.

 

“We won’t do that again.” Pico promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”

 

“OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?”

 

“NO.” he muttered loudly.

 

“R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily.

 

“Egdy! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me.

 

I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

 

“OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

B’loody GF was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese…… OR DOES IT?). “BTW Nene that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)

 

“It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily.

 

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Nene will die too.” I said.

 

“Kawai.” B’loody GD shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den an uberkid did it with her cause he’s a necphilak.”

 

“Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

 

“OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with Pico tonight in the Week 1 stage with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”

 

B’Loody GF Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.”

 

“In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.


“No.” My head snaped up.

‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “B’Loody GF are u a PREP?”

 

“NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near teh university that’s all.”

 

“Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Piko or Deadgy or .EXE666(don’t even SAY that nam to me! > : (((((). Or me.

 

“Mr. Fucksit.” She sed. “Let me just call F-Bot.”

 

“OMFFG MR. FUCKSHIT?” I asked quietly.

 

“Yah I saw the map for Phillydelphia on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.”

 

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in the stage. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.”

 

“Da real goffs?” Me and B’Loody GF asked.

 

“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday teh uberkidds and alucar tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”

 

“OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

 

“Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said.

 

“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said B’Loody GF.

 

“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked.

 

“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s edgy the edgelord coldsteel VENOM soul fuck what’s yours?”

 

“Hanzou.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”

“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf piko you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Darnell ran in looking worried. “OMFG EDGIY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE UNIVERSITY NOW!”

 

Hanzo gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Darnell kept shooting at us to cum back 2 da unisity. “WTF Darnell?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Nene came. Darnell went away angrily.

 

“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said.

 

“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Nene’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short purple corset-thingy with pink red lace on it and a blak rose-pink miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.

 

“So r u going 2 da concert wif Pico?” she asked.

 

“Yah.” I said happily.

 

“I’m gong with Deadgy.” she anserred happily. Well anyway Pico and Deadgy came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Deadgy was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Pico was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black KMFDM t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B’loody GF was going 2 da concert wif Deadgy. Deadgy used to be called Samurai Asshole but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were demons(tjus makin Nene a demnon too, since they siblings). They dyed in a car crash. Samurai converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Philadelphia now. He was wearing a black NG t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Deadgy now. Well anyway we al went 2 Pico’s black Mercy-Bens P-Bot (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad John Captain gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Pico and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps pozerz. We soon got there…….I gapsed.

 

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif a skull and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Pico. Pico and I came. It was…….Conbitch and da Piconj00s!

 

“U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Egdy, DD told u to kil l.EXE666. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Pico!”

 

“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

 

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his A-Bot. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a lazzer atacl and Conbitch ran away. It was…………………………………MR. FUCKSHIT!


I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

 

(Da night before Pico and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Mr.Fukshid chased Consbitch and Piconj00 away. We flew there on our NG-Bots. Mine was P-Bot and the metal-stuff was blood-red. There were spikes all over it. Pico had a black MCR A-Bot. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)

 

Well anyway I went down to da Porteld. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Gottik Puks.

 

“WTF!” I shouted going to sit next to B’loody GF and Nene. B’loody GF was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Nene was wearing a long gothic blak dress with violet purple writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. .EXE666, Deagy and Pico came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.

 

“Those guys are so fucking hot.” Senpai was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Consbit ad Piconsj000 yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.

 

“……………….MR.FRASIT?1!” we all gasped.

 

“WTF?” I shouted angrily. “I thought he was just wearing that to scare Conssvitc ad PicronjU00!”

 

“Hello everyone.” he said happily. “As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?”

 

Everyone from the boomer table in the university started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn’t believe what a boomer he was!1.

 

“BTW you can call me Samuel.” HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

 

“What a fucking boomer (AN: LOL GEDDIT XDDDDDDD)!” Pico shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. .EXE666 looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn’t say anything. “I bet he’s havin a mid-life crisis!” Nene shouted.

 

I was so fucking angry.


All day we sat angerly finking about Mr.Fracit. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da KMFDM concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Pico was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).

 

“No one fucking understands me!1” he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik) I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik)

 

“Accuse me? What about me!” I growled.

 

“Buy-but-but-” he grunted.

 

“You fucking bastard!” I moaned.

 

“No! Wait! It’s not what it fucking looks like!” he shouted.

 

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Pico banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.

 

Suddenly Darnell came. He had appearated.

 

“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily dropping my pot. “Wtf do you fink you’re doing in da gurl’s room?”

 

Only it wasn’t just Darnell. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Hanzou or maybe Pico but it was Mr.Fukshit.

 

“Hey I need to ask you a question.” he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. “What are u wearing to the concert?”

 

“U no who MCR r!” I gasped.

 

“No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2.” He said. “Anyway Pricko has a surprise for u.”


All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Conssickt and Daadyy Dereasted had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Pico so we could do it again.

“Wut de fucking hell r u doing!” I shouted angrily. It was an Ünberkidding! “R u gonna roulette me or what.” I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Rm.Feracitd had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Alucar.

 

“No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns.” he growld angrily.

 

“Yah, so u can fuk ur non-existant gurlfriend, huh?” I shouted sarkastikally.

 

“Fuker.” He said, gong away.

 

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped…………………………………………………………….Arlucadri and an überkindind were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Cssarndra was watching!1

 

“Oh my god you ludacris idiot!” they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Cssrandra ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking preps. (btw alucadr is movd 2 da univesity now)

 

“WTF is that why u wanted condoms?” I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)

 

“Only you wouldn’t give them to me!” ab überkids shouted angrily.

 

“Well you shoulda told me.” I replayed.

 

“You dimwit!.” Asslucard began 2 shoot angrily. And then………I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything. I had a 5 star rating seeing dat, becuz guys doin sex is so hut, contrary to gurlz doin sex.

 

“Well xcuse me!” they both shouted angrily. “What was dat al about?”

 

“It wuz to blackmail u.” I snarked. “So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I’ll show dis to Mr. Fludd. So fuck off, u bastards!” I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was .EXE666, looking extremely fucking hot.

 

“WTF where’d Pico?” I asked him.

 

“Oh he’s bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn’t cum.” .EXE666 said shaking his hed. “U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?”

 

Then….. he showed me his P-Bot. I gasped. It was a black P-Bot. He said his brotha Ratz the Rit had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said “EDGGY”’ on it.

 

……….I gasped.

 

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

 

.EXE666 and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

 

I almost had a 5 starr ratting. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing “Fresh” and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ……….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Pico, cryin in a corner.


Later we all went in the skull. Pcio was crying in da common room. “Prico are u okay?” I asked in a gothic voice.

 

“No I’m not u fuking bitch!” he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.

 

“Its ok Eddgy.” said .EXE666 comfortly. “Ill make him feel better.”

 

“U mean you’ll go fuck him wont you!” I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Pico. .EXE666 came too.

 

“Pico please come!” he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)

 

And then………………………….. we herd sum footsteps! .EXE666 got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw Hank there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

 

“WHOSE THERE!” he shouted angrily. We saw Snowball come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.

 

“IS ANY1 THERE!” yelled Hank.

 

“No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!” .EXE666 said under his breast in a disgusted way.

 

“EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!” yelled Hank. Den he heard Snowball meow. “Sbownall is der any1 unda da cloak!” he asked. Snowball nodded. And then……………………….666.XEE frenched me! He did it jus as…………………….. Hank was taking of da cloak!1

 

“WHAT DA-” he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Pico crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.

 

“Pico!” I cried. “R u okay?”

 

“I guess though.” Pico weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Pico and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin, of curse not : )))))) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Mommy Merest walked into the school!1


All day everyone talked about the Momy Marest. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.


Standing in front of me where………………. B;loody GF, .EXE666, Deagy, Pico, Drarnell and Nene!


I opened my crimson eyes. Nene was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody seals all over it. Under that she wart a pink poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. .EXE666 was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Pico was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. .EXE666 looked like Joel Madden. B’loody GF was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said ‘bich’ and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Cassette Girl) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were ENA and Moony. It turns out that Dranel, Deagy, ENA and Moony’s dads were demon. They committed exit game by slitting their wrists with a razor. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.


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Posted by felipecrespito - July 23rd, 2022


Hi, my name is Edgy the Edgelord Coldsteel Demonslayer Soul Fuck, I’m a huge Demonslayer fan (that’s how I got my name, also AN: if u don’t know what that is, get the fuck outta here), I’ve long dark auburn hair and I’m also a demon, but my skin is pale white instead of purple, I’m gottik and I attend a unievrsity called The Philadlephia Univesity, and I’m currently 20 years old, most of my clothes are either black or grey, I’m A HUGE FAN of Slipknot, Linkin Park, MRC and KMFDM, I’ve got all their merch, a lot of preps posers stared at me, I put my middle finger at them.


“Hey, Edgy!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was… Pico!


“Hi,” he said.


“Hi,” I said back.


But then my friends called me and I had to go away : (


AN: If you never listineeddd to Slipknut, Link Parkin, MRC ad KMFDM get the fuk out of here > : (


The next day I woke up in my bedroom, I opened the door of my coffin and drank some brood from a bottle I had, I got out of the coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt I used as pajamas. Instead, I put a black Linkin Park dress, a grey MCR jacket, black KMFDM shoes and I put black lipstick and TONS of black eyeliner and put my hair in a kind of meessy bun


My friend, Nene (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long back-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her violet-purple eyes. She put on her dark-pink vest with a white bra underneath, a hot pink dress and black pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)


“OMFG, I saw you talking to Pico yesterday!” she said excitedly.


“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.


“Do you like Pico?” she asked as we went out of the main hall of the university and into the Portal.


“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.


“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Pico walked up to me


“Hi.” he said.


“Hi.” I replied firlty


“Guess what.” he said.


“What?” I asked.


“Well, KMFDM are having a concert in Philadelphia.” he told me.


“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love KMFDM. They are my favorite band, besides Linkin Park.


“Well, do you want to go with me?” he asked.


I gasped.


On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

 

I went outside. Pico was waiting there in front of P-Bot. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

 

“Hi Pico!” I said in a depressed voice.

 

“Hi Edgy.” he said back. We walked onto P-Bot, who was colored like a black Mercedes-Benz (his arm plates said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

 

“You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

 

“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Pico, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

 

Suddenly Pico looked sad : (

 

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

 

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

 

“Really?” asked Pico sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

 

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

 

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Pico. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Pico and I crawled back onto the Mercedes-Benz P-Bot, but Pico didn’t go back into the university, instead he drove the car into……………………… Brackenwood!


“PICO!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”


Pico didn’t answer but he stopped the P-Bot and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiosly.


“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

 

“Edgy?” he asked.

 

“What?” I snapped.

 

Pico leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

 

And then…………… suddenly just as I Pico kissed me passionately. Pico climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his uzi into my obviously-not-censored-Newgrounds-sex-joke and we did it for the first time.

 

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get all 5 stars for the epic rating. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

 

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Mr.Flacit! (Flacit was swearing becuz he had a hedache)


Mr.Flecit made and Pico and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

 

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

 

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Pico comforted me. When we went back to the universtiy Mr.Flacit took us to the universtiy presidents Alucard and da überkidins who were both looking very angry.

 

“They were having sexual intercourse in Brackenwood!” he yelled in a furious voice.

 

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked one of da überkindins.

 

“How dare you?” demanded Aslucad.

 

And then Pico shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”

 

Everyone was quiet. Mr.Flacit and da überkindinds still looked mad but Alucad said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

 

Pico and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

 

“Are you okay,Edgy?” Pico asked me gently.

 

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the girl’s dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

 

Pico was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

 

In the cafeteria, I ate some Count Demonila cereal (AN: yes that is a brand and if u never ated it gtfo) with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

 

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have a cap anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Pico’s and there was no bit of any cyan color on his hair anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like you know da thing that boys get except not really cuz I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko lolololol XDDDD

 

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

 

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

 

“My name’s Boyfriend from the popular indie game Friday Night Funkin’, although most people call me BF.EXE666FromDarkness these days.” he grumbled.

 

“Why?” I exclaimed.

 

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.

 

“Well, I am a demon.” I confessed. (it turnz out BF is adopted, his birt parents were emo demons rockstar who where rivals to the Dearests, eventuaolly DD killed his mom and his dad commited exit game due to how sad he was)

 

“Really?” he whimpered.

 

“Yeah.” I roared.

 

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Pico came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

 

Pico and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u? Ok maybe it is but wutever XD). I waved to 666.EXE. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Pico. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Pico. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

 

We started blamming passively and we started playing the big games on NG enthusiastically. He felt me up before I decided on Madness Roulette. Then I decided to watch Madness and we routed for Hank (AN: if u don’t know who he is gtfo > : ((((((((). We went on the bed and started playing Pico Roulette and then he put his cock joke in mine female cock joke equivalent and we HAD ADULT NG EXPERIENCE. (c is dat stupid?)

 

“Oh Pico, Pico!” I screamed while getting a 5 star rating when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Pico’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words…………BF!

 

I was so angry.

 

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

 

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Pico pleaded. But I knew too much.

 

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably had a blam anyway!”

 

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Pico ran out. He had a really big rating but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in EXE.666’s classroom where he was having a lesson with Mr.Flacit and some other people.

 

“BF.EXE666, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.

 

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Pico came into the room and started begging me to take him back.

 

“Edgy, it’s not what you think!” Pico screamed sadly.

 

My cousin B’loody GF smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic auburn hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale purple skin that she was wearing white makeup on.

 

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Alucard demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

 

“.EXE666, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Pico!” I shouted at him.

 

Everyone gasped.

 

I don’t know why Edgy was so mad at me. I had went out with BF.EXE666 (I’m bi and so is Edgy) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Cassandra, a stupid preppy gothic wannabe. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

 

“But I’m not going out with Pico anymore!” said BF.EXE666.

 

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into Brackenwood where I had lost my virility to Pico and then I started to bust into tears.

 

I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Pico for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Pico.

 

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible demon with red glowing eyes and purple skin and everything started flying towards me! He had purple skin (basically like Daddy Dearest in FNF) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… Daddy Dearest!

 

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then DD started singin "Dadbattle" and I couldn’t run away.

 

“Xificurc!” I shouted at him. DD fell off and started to scream. I felt bad for him because he was my uncle even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

 

“Edgy.” he yelled. “Thou must kill BF.EXE666!”

 

I thought about .EXE666 and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Pico had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Pico went out with .EXE666 before I went out with him and they broke up?

 

“No, DD!” I shouted back.

 

DD gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

 

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Pico!”

 

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

 

DD got a dude-ur-so-dumb-lmao look on his face. “I hath telekinesis and bsedis, Pico is my employee.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill .EXE666, then thou know what will happen to Pico!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily somehow.

 

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Pico came into the woods.

 

“Pico!” I said. “Hi!”

 

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

 

“Are you okay?” I asked.

 

“No.” he answered.

 

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

 

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into the university together making out.

 

I was really scared about Ddday Deareast all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are GF, .EXE666, Pico, Samurai Asshole (although we call him Deadgy now. He has black hair now with red streaks in it.) and Darnell. Only today Pico and .EXE666 were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Pico was probably playing Newgrounds Rumble (AN: if u dont know what dat game is gtfo again > : ((((() and .EXE666 was probably watching a depressing movie like Pico vs Convict. I put on a black leather shirt and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt.

 

We were singing a cover of an epic edgy song that 14 year old girls listen to so that they become emo and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

 

“Edggy! Are you OK?” B’loody GF asked in a concerted voice.

 

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Dadt Dereast came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill BF! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Pico. But if I don’t kill BF, then DD, will fucking kill Pico!” I burst into tears. Suddenly Pico jumped out from behind a wall.

 

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser preppy bitch!” (c is dat out of character? Yes it is : ))

 

I started to cry and cry. Pico started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Mr.Flacit walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.

 

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Edgy Pico has been found in his room. He committed offline by losing Newgrounds Rumble.”

 

 


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